I met Naps at Miss Marie Pearl’s Birthday Party. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, her princess themed birthday party took place in a sports bar filled with bros galore. Miss Marie Pearl introduced me to her friend Naps and promptly walks away. We talk quietly in a corner for a bit and Miss Marie Pearl returns in her princess crown on her head and scepter in her hand and informs me that Naps is flirting with me.
I flirted back with Naps, and tried to convince him to take off his pants, put his hand on the railing in front of the big screen TV and take a spanking for me that would impress even the bro-liest of bros. He contemplated it but we decided on a more intimate venue and activity for our first play date.
Naps’ other nickname is ‘bacon’. I figured candy was the perfect thing to make such a sweet boy (particularly brittle – to reflect a self-conscious piggy’s ego).
Pecan Bacon Brittle (from D’artagnan)
- 2 cup whole raw pecans
- 1¾ cups sugar
- 1¾ cups light brown sugar
- ¼ cup water
- 1 cup light corn syrup
- 1½ lbs hickory smoked bacon, chopped into ½ inch strips
- 2 tbs unsalted butter
- 1 tsp fleur de sel
- 1½ tablespoons vanilla
- ½ tsp chipotle chili powder
- 1 tbs baking soda
- Place the nuts in a dry skillet over medium-high heat. Cook, stirring occasionally, until nuts are just fragrant. Remove from heat, let cool. Once cool, remove about half of the nuts and rough chop, then mix them back into the whole nuts. Set aside.
- Combine the sugars, water, and corn syrup in a large, heavy saucepan over medium heat, stirring until the sugar dissolves. Increase the heat to high, and cook, without stirring, until the mixture reaches 260 degrees F on a candy thermometer. Reduce the heat to medium.
- Gently stir in the raw bacon, nuts and butter. Cook, stirring constantly, until the candy thermometer registers 300 degrees F. Turn off the heat.
- Add the salt, chipotle powder, and vanilla and stir to combine. Add the baking soda, stirring vigorously, but cautiously, as the mixture will bubble up.
- Immediately pour the mixture out onto two Silpat-lined baking sheets, using an offset spatula to spread the brittle as thin as possible. Let cool completely, then break into pieces. Serve immediately or store in an airtight container for up to 3 weeks.